It’s one of the rudest trends that exists within ASD literature.
Nearly every single article that describes the emotional difficulties of being married to someone on The Spectrum always states that the “NT” spouse suffers. As if simply saying “spouse” was too much of a stretch or wasted effort.
As if the average so-called “neurotypical” person is the only type that are attracted to and marry ASD partners.
Surely it won’t shock anyone to consider that like minded individuals tend to couple together, be more tolerant of each others habits and so forth.
Thus, there are many ASD women and men drawn to one another by nature. The so-called neurotypical women are famous for the ugly business of rejection, prejudice and “demanding” perfection.
As if the only type of person who would mind feeling depressed and rejected over years of neglect, the lack of affection, respect, consideration, etc. would be a so-called “neurotypical”?
I suppose that includes an assumed kind of “ho hum” attitude when an ASD spouse is lying on the ground writhing in pain after the ASD spouse attacked him or her, is that it? According to these “experts” it’s only the poor Neurotypical who’s suffering in this alien atmosphere.
As if we (as ASD afflicted husbands and wives) are what? Heartless? Bloodless? Blind, deaf and dumb to the daily struggles and often times pain?
As if ASD girls grow up EXPECTING anything other than mutuality and love when they enter into relationships? Or as if ASD boys are ” just peachy” with the prospect of a sexless union or walking on eggshells in their future marriages?
Or is the message being circulated on account of a gross amount of inconsiderate “experts” being in too much of a hurry to launch themselves on the bandwagon to be the hero to cure the world’s woes?
A few articles, I could let fly.
But nearly ALL of them completely disregarding the fact that ASD women (and ASD husbands suffering with an ASD wife) can be( and are) flesh and blood casualties in this horrid epidemic? Unacceptable.
And “they” call us “tactless” and unable to feel empathy or use common sense.
To the future authors who decide to write on this topic, do us a favor will you?
Have an ounce of respect and think before you type out this horribly insulting pairing of “NT-ASD” relationships. Maybe do some more thorough research on us and absorb the fact that we CAN and DO feel emotions like everyone else.
Most of you are so fond of batting those “do goody” eyelashes and chirping about “us all being the same” under our varied exteriors-Maybe it’s time you decided to act like it’s true, no?
Being lied to on a constant basis hurts EVERY human being.
Being ignored or insulted hurts EVERY human being.
Losing one’s esteem and feeling your life is worthless because that’s exactly how you’re treated by someone who was supposed to protect you and at the very least want to be with you (or else why even get married at all??)..
it hurts and angers EVERY human being.
If you’re a therapist writing from your work experience, I suggest you take a closer look at the wives who end up crying to you in heart breaking despair. As most of us have found ourselves.
You may shock the ever living lights out of yourself and finally see that a good portion of them qualify to also be on the spectrum-and not to a negligible degree.
photo By vectorfusionart