What Was Understood..and What Will Be.

Young Man Huddling on Floor Holding Knees to Chest
It reminds me of when a former neighbor once admitted to hearing my screams from our house across the way.

When she told me, I was an adult, her admission referring to when I was a young girl.

She had heard me, but between my father’s admired reputation and her reluctance to believe it was “that bad”..she never once called the police.

It’s okay. She was a good woman. I accepted her tear-filled apology.. although it’s hard to put into words what sadness went through me to know someone could have helped me..in the years I spent as a child believing that no one ever could.

I’m also reminded of how my hands used to get smacked away, in my desperate efforts to cover my privates during the course of my parents’ very wrong and very humiliating night-time “inspections”.
Once again, a difficult explanation for those who will never know the humiliation of being forced to expose oneself as a young child, on a regular basis by those supposedly in charge of your best interests.
And being slapped for trying to protect yourself.

Finally, after becoming an adult, to have it hit you like a ton of bricks as to what those “inspections” were actually about….well, it’s a free fall straight out of a reality re a world that you thought you knew for yourself.

It’s a long felt betrayal. It leaves a wound one can’t quite wrap one’s mind around regarding the evil that people are capable of ..no matter how young one may be and no matter what was promised from those whom everyone is convinced would never…ever…allow such harm.

These following articles reminded me of these very unfortunate things.
What I already understood as a child about helplessness and being punished while in danger…

and heartbreakingly enough, the understanding others will come to regarding what it was all about…

Click to access bluebook.pdf

photo By Jan H. Andersen

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