Who I Am..After All

Although I’ve been able to breathe freer knowing I wasn’t the
Only One
It has plunged me into a certain state of despair knowing that I was an
Early One.
Not the only child whose annoying, peculiar and infuriating habits had her own mother, family, school mates and world
And hiding from her.
But…merely an earlier run of a production line borne from mortal man’s vanity, stubbornness and 16th century sensibilities..on top of Stone Age logic and greed.

This..is what infuriates me.
Every Day.
This..is what tears my very heart in two and keeps the tears fresh. Time after time.
That …

(though I will never step foot in their grand secret soirées because I’m mere filth to them.
And though they will never know my name or how I have suffered throughout this fucking life because of what they’ve done…and currently choose to allow)

…they were allowed to interject their will and wrap their hateful chains around me and my beloved children’s necks as if they owned me.

Changing the very DNA my creator gave me..not man.

Preventing me from running my life as I know best..even though I have lived it far more responsibly than most, if not all, of them.
After an entire lifetime of lying to me about how “free” I was and that “everything would be OK”.

As if these animals had any right to continue to execute centuries of abuses that they unleash brutalities against us for ..in order to prevent us from committing ourselves.

They were nowhere around to help when I conquered a 17 year old drinking habit..without the programs which they design to fail.
They were nowhere around when I was brutalized by my mother…though I did have their group homes to go to after getting caught trying to kill her at age 14.
The group homes where kids still got raped. Molested. Drugged.

The group homes (villages) where we were free to do as we wished with minimal and mechanical disciplines and where I got my earliest front row seat to what meds will do to a child doomed to remain on them
And they weren’t there as the bonds, which I practically sweat blood to maintain with my children, deteriorated under the rotting influence of their schools and the manipulations of their media.
The children who were my first and only chances at being loved, gave me the only true joys of my miserable life..and are now struggling through a life where all of their potential has been destroyed and pulverized into the ground.
By Them.
Those mortal bastards and bitches.
Of the UN. And the Vatican.

Who dare have say on who I am and what I’m not allowed to have.
Though they are neither gods nor maintain a fraction of the decency and virtue that the majority of us “insects” manage to abide by.
Who dare stand by, as billions of us get torn apart, raped and ruined.
Yet maintain the rights to accuse us of tearing our society apart, punish us for seemingly even thinking about it…while raping and ruining us at their personal will and whimsy.
For nothing.
As they hunt through our herd and sniff out our brightest…only to groom them to destroy their own.
Knowing full well just how much we can not understand and will never know.
Still…leaving them without hope of being loved as they were meant to be
and forever sentenced to remain “out there” without a single true comfort to claim as their own.

No matter how much money is thrown their way or false assurances given.

Yes, I now know I wasn’t the only one. Just an earlier one.
And no, I won’t stop speaking out until they’re completely gone and can no longer create any
Other Ones.

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