The Next Time I See You Again
I have that feeling that I’ll be a lovely and little old lady.
Sitting at a bus stop.
And You, you’ll be walking towards me as a fine and strong young Man.
Under a dry white sun, with a finely freckled tan.
With a rhythmic little swagger
to your engine.
Fueled, no doubt, by the attentions of
the even lovelier young Woman hitched to your side.
I have that feeling that my heart will skip one beat,
moments right before my smile picks up another.
My eyes lowered to the ground and
shyness heating the pink in my cheeks like the sun.
Because I’ll see that it’s You
but you won’t know who I’ll be.
And just like that moment in the “Lady and the Tiger”
at the end,
I will suffer the making of a bittersweet decision.
To stop my hand from reaching out to grab You.
Back to me. For me. To stay, please stay, with me.
And I will choose to let you breeze by, strong hand in soft hand
with another love which
I can no longer be. Was never expected nor allowed to be.
Yet never gave up dreaming that one day, I could be.
I have a feeling that you’ll catch the slight movement of my old lady hand
and almost make the mistake of reaching into your back pocket
for a spare dollar to give me.
You- with a curious squint and gentlemanly hesitation.
Me- with a good-humored grin to reject
the embarrassment of a well-intended assumption.
And then we’ll share a chuckle together.
Because it will be a world where we can laugh about things like that again.
At that time.
I have a feeling that my heart will swell and strain
as you get up to get going again.
And she, she will grab your hand
with an apologetic grin for me, a warm and wanting wink for you.
Leaving me and my lovely old lady self behind.
Free to carry the memory of that little swagger
Free to dream of the babies you will both love into this world
and grateful to finally close my eyes
for one final time.
Graced with the blessing of knowing that
You’re finally free and safe again.
For the rest of all time.