My People

I was deeply touched watching this documentary “Neurotypical”

It’s as if I’d found loving friends -which I’m not blessed to have, as of now, to embrace me -welcome me home. ☺
I wasn’t uncomfortable watching this one. There wasn’t an uneasy knot in my tummy. There wasn’t one extreme case after another laid out by some somber, soft spoken NT “expert” on all the things we “find great difficulty in doing”.
I wasn’t glaring at the screen wearily waiting for an interview or scene not meant to elicit NT sympathies by presenting the most severe cases. Having been severely abused as a child (in large part, due to my condition) puzzling out and plowing through an adulthood rife with strife and blessings..my preference was/is to simply be considered as ‘normal’ of a success as any other soul, not to be pitied..or feared.
I’m even peeved as to why there’s such a massive drive to subcategorize every little body with every little thing anyway.

_______________________
It wasn’t a “them” speaking to others about “us” kind of thing. I beamed, experiencing it as an Us, in our straight talking, confident and free-to-be We kind of thing.
________________________
Lately, it’s been a time of deep and ongoing grief of sorts. Having exerted an incredible amount of energy to secure what my heart has ached for-a true and mutual friendship- I found myself confused, hurt…an old exhausting gamble, lost again. A most painful swallow, considering how very few times I actually expose myself to reach out.
Tonight, I’d almost avoided giving the video’s subject matter a watch.
The last thing my heart could stand was a raw reminder of being “unworthy” of the type of affection that NTs seem to take for granted on the constant.
Instead❤…it was 51 minutes of familiar, enjoyable impression.
I was relieved and soothed by finally watching My People ..in the truer, more extensive colors that we occupy on the Spectrum.
A really cool kind of “You’re all right, after all, sweetheart” that I needed more than anything.
👌🏽

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