Beware of the woman who plans to meet you IRL ( in real life) and you find out that she lied about her weight throughout the entire course of your online relationship. Enough of an amount that it would shock the ‘average’ person into wondering how she could have had the nerve to believe “it wouldn’t matter” . Or simply, enough to dishearten and disappoint you..after months or years invested.
It would be inappropriate for me to give unsolicited advice regarding this wretched liar’s fate.
But I would have to insist on one thing if you made the decision to turn and walk away..
Don’t you dare let anyone try to shame you into staying or rant at you for some imagined “fat discrimination.”
First of all, you deserve better than to risk inviting disaster into your life by accommodating a person that morally bankrupt or unstable.
Most importantly, it is none of anyone’s business as to what you like, let alone possess nerve to comment on it.
There are plenty of reasons why overweight women don’t appeal to men-as there are plenty of reasons underweight women don’t appeal to other men as well. This is how things work in a world occupied by humans and occasional patches of common sense.
A person who lies about how she looks, what she is- a physical state that merely requires the power of sight-while fully intending to remain quiet up to and on the day of meeting face to face… isn’t exactly what I call friendly with the notion of common sense.
Neither is she pals with the notion of respect..
..Respect for the importance of basic honesty.
..Respect for the trust you placed in her to help you paint a truthful mental picture within the impossibly limited spaces of keyboard and screen.
..Respect for your rights as a human being to be able to say “no” to whatever you do not wish to choose for your life. In the same atmosphere where we’re constantly reminded of a woman’s right to say “no” to what is unacceptable to her.
..Or respect for the need for people to know what they’re dealing with from the start. So that no one gets hurt down the road by eventual rejection. Specifically, the liar -who obviously missed memos about the existence of other people living on this planet, other than herself.
This sort of deception has a frightening amount to say about her lack of concern for the value of your time. It also holds an alarming clue to the depth of her selfishness.
A person’s weight can cover more important concerns other than looks alone. From matters of health and lifestyle to sexual reproduction and difficulties in fertility, the reasons an individual may have to dislike or prefer something are as varied and deep as the individual himself.
That doesn’t matter.
It’s still no one’s right to make decisions on what you accept in your life, except for You..
You should not be obliged to explain anything to anybody. No human being , without being enslaved, should be expected to answer for or to another human being concerning what he or she rejects or holds dear.
There are no written laws, yet, that forbid a man from having his own tastes and enjoying his personal desires. But the way we’ve been behaving lately, more of us are acting as if we “own” one another. As if it’s our duty to inject ourselves straight into the lives of one another to force each other to “behave.”
No one owns you.
And you’re most certainly not looking for another mother to finish “raising” you; aside from the one who already raised you. The one woman who had enough respect to let you grow up and go on to live YOUR life on YOUR own terms. As a Grown Man.
ANY gender should be subject to “behaving”. And BOTH genders deserve to be given enough truth in order to best plan for what they want in this life.
However, there is a serious deficit of attention paid to , and open encouragement of, a very mean spirited ‘bullying’ of the modern male.
It’s the type of thing that we’d be up in arms over , if it was openly directed (redirected) towards women or any other socio-politically coddled group.
There is nothing said concerning a male’s well being or emotional “safety” in online dating. Unlike his sister, the adult male hears no public outcries nor sympathies expressed for the devastations he is also vulnerable to. In a time where he’s not only forced to accept slanderous assumptions of his “rapist” intentions but where his reputation and livelihood seem to be progressively dependent on the male being bullied silent or spiritually neutered.
It’s about time we started to stand up for ourselves and each other, in these twisted little “holier than thee and me” confrontations -online and off.
It’s about time we ceased stammering apologies like guilty children..to sniveling brats rudely forcing themselves deeper into our personal lives, without bothering to make any apologies.
This issue, defending oneself against being harassed or guilt tripped due to one’s own desires or wants…. is just one of a few places we need to start.
At the very least, we can start learning how to tell people to mind their own business.
We may even find a bonus opportunity along the way to restructuring ourselves.
Maybe we’ll get in so much practice , telling people to shut their traps, that they finally understand that their opinions mean nothing in a quicker and less painful fashion.
Far less painful than the public sniping that is unleashed when men dare commit the” crimes” of expressing their truths..
(where some men are publicly dragged to one social media whipping post or another, and other men are fired from the only jobs they had to feed their families with)
…. that’s for sure.
It’s time to be as strong as we know we need to be,
Your loving and fat Sister, Ramsy
feature photo By Kletr