I’m compelled to pen a letter of apology to my great-grandchildren of the future.
As things stand now, I’m an actively practicing (for lack of a more proper term) “uppity negress” trapped upon the 21st century plantation of my dear and once beloved Massa.
I should like to offer an apology of the most sincere sort. If I happened to accidentally saddle you with shame or discomfort associated with your long passed Nana.
For you see, I was never really ever that “quick”.
A casual glance at old Massa’s memoirs would confirm that my mental functions were insufficient at best, as there are limits to what “cows” and “apes” are able to grasp.
My sins and crimes are many.
I refused to accept Massa’s kind favor of recognizing “Ebonics” as my official language with quiet grace and acceptance.
An ungrateful response, on my part, because only two hundred years ago he was obligated to either whip or kill me for owning any books.
I’ve been chastised for speaking out against certain things. Things which Massa needs full and unquestioned cooperation on.
Things I pray you forgive me for as well, for I truly believed these were things he had a deep intolerance for.
My kind and considerate Massa.
For example, I had believed that the using of the term “nigger” was a punishable no-no. For all of us who kept comfortable shelter per his charity.
I spoke out against the liberal usage of this foul term found within Massa’s productions, his records, music industries and such.
Well, I absolutely forgot that anything that brings Massa great joy and generates amazing mounds of money..this is indeed a permissible occupation.
Just like the days of old when Massa used to clap and cheer , in elegant company, over our forebears dancing and fiddling for show in banquet halls or other places cleared for amusements..he is also entitled to our current displays of degradation within the studios and on videos. Without question.
As anyone can find in the hundreds of songs produced, obviously Massa was quite eager and pleased to use “nigger” to his heart’s content.
Shame on me, dear children, I know…I was quite out of line to even notice it.
Having a sense of natural modesty, I had also misspoke and was sorely mistaken over the continual displays of my dark skinned daughter seen to practice (sometimes, paid quite handsomely for) the uninhibited sexual grinding and choreographed jiggling of her genitalia in public spaces …also for Massa’s entertainment and great profit.
Although I was foolish enough to try teaching her that she too (as Massa’s own daughter) had a right to be considered in a more dignified light.
With the flooding of other daughters “doing their thing” and making legitimate money within these career choices…well, I can only assume that my own selfish hang-ups interfered with Massa’s kind attempt to allow her expression of “empowerment”.
It just seemed a bit disproportionate when compared to the images of other women seen to perform at Massa’s behest-as I’d never seen bare breasted white girls on record album covers and other “odd” discrepancies, nor cheery documentaries presenting the successes of exploited third world young ladies (from his own clan) “twerking” their ways to independence and social respect.
Luckily, there were other slaves upon the plantation to harass and scold me for “racial bigotry” and “hate”..although I too, was the same color and complexion as they.
Live and learn, I suppose.
It would seem that I did comply with what is a current and “subtle” breeding mandate. But that’s not the case neither.
In all countries, all networks and with impressive regularity for several years now…the image suggestion of black women and white men coupling has been worked in with dedicated fervor by all. Under this spirit of “tolerance”..as opposed to my crazy assumption of the elimination of my black brothers.
Both of your great grandfathers have indeed been white, but it’s not by incessant and encouraging propaganda..rather, instead, it was love and choice which spawned my decisions.
I do hope that fact doesn’t add further disappointments that may mold your opinions of me and my shameful history of stubborn resistance to Massa’s wishes.
My refusal to wear the uniform of the “Democratic Party”
(for I’m under the impression that Massa is Massa..regardless of where he hides on both sides.
Oh….I do apologize..I mean practices and rules from , on both sides)…..
On top of my openly asked questions about witnessing my siblings balloon up in weight, in different regions, at shocking rates and resulting in explosions of heart diseases, diabetes and intestinal horrors.
Massa has set me straight on these “mysterious” conditions as being the probable result of our sheer laziness in lifestyle habits.
I made the unforgivable mistake as to connect the hormonal overdoses (eagerly proposed as a way to help bring our breeding habits to a halt in the Population Program that he was responsible and wise enough to enforce) to these and other illnesses.
Once again, your great aunts, uncles and responsibly minded strangers were readily and loyally dedicated enough to silence my outrageous conspiracy speculations with healthy attacks and sharp criticisms.
Alas, my dear progeny, as in the case where I was so certain that mercury, radiation and hormones resulted in everything from school shootings to violent mood disorders…I was soundly and repeatedly punished until I used whatever senses I had-which God had pity enough to allow me- to quiet down and mind my irresponsible tongue.
My sins are innumerable, on this plantation Massa was charitable enough to provide me.
I am no longer lumbered with the expectation to think for myself, am no longer expected to bear the burden of home or car ownership (leasing for short amounts of time until these luxuries may be returned to Massa), am no longer subjected to the animalistic tradition of mating through the uncontrolled risks and dangers of finding lovers via dance clubs, bars, libraries..or anywhere outside of Massa’s monitored and safer confines of the computer screen.
If I evolve into an intelligent woman, a proper black woman..surely I will be able to see with how much love and deep concern Massa so desperately wishes to do me good by.
I hate Massa, I do, dear children. But I’m sure that by the time you read this letter, you will somberly and silently offer me forgiveness for this feeling.
You see, he’s been my Massa for a long, long time.
So long in fact, that it’s been impossible for me to trust him, even though he created all of the civil rights organizations and took over the entire framework of my world in an attempt to assure me that things have changed.
Bless his heart, he even does this all with a smile on his bald face, instead of the visible disgust he used to present each time any of us passed by without a collar affixed to identify ownership.
Although audible scoffs can still be heard these days , re: the more uppity of us who dare to demonstrate our abilities to express profound thoughts without the assistance of infantile and brightly colored emoticons.
All I can say, in closing, is that Massa has been wise enough to record our natural handicaps and who we are destined to be in many reputable academic documents and studies taught and learned worldwide…so we may better find and remain in the place Massa finds most suitable.
So, hopefully, with the help of millions of other obedient slaves (both black and white) properly groomed, this will help your wayward Nana to be a more peaceful and obedient slave, worthy of your respect …one day.
For this is all I desire, with the joyful bonus of not bringing any further anger and dismay to the Massa I am sure is providing you with all that your heart needs and desires.
Love, the “uppity negress” who was your great-grandmother on Massa’s impressively large plantation of 2020. 2020 A.D. not B.C….(where all of this stone aged bull&*^t belonged)