An Explanation for Really Old Tattooed “Ladies”

Ya, ya..I know, it’s because you’re “cool” and “hep”, right?

All of you old ladies strutting around on your “trim” and leathery chicken legs, binding up the extra spare tires with fresh pairs of Spanx, the lot  of you “chicks” out there, my age and older….

Those of you old broads with tattoos of skulls, butterflies…heck, butterflies with the faces of skulls…

Grinning with your “modern and manly” haircuts..or grinning with your breasts jiggling so far out of their lane that you kind of look ridiculous bothering to cover them with fabric at all.


Young ladies, I have not a word to say about it.

Youth was meant for making waves and mistakes. Nibbling all one can from life and then spitting back out the hard, unhealthy and nasty tasting stuff, according to individual taste and maturity of clearer understanding..for when young ladies mature into older ladies.

For the young ladies, I only wish them the best in salvaging what my wretched generation is too proud to. For we’ve had our turn on this ride..and we need to snap into reality and step off.


But not you “chicks” right? The old ones.

The same chicks who run cry babying to the dermatologist, in droves, because the blue streaks running along your legs and arms (varicose veins) are giving you the blues and “threatening” to expose to the world how old of a woman you are..when a man with one blind eye and a glass eye for the other has no choice but to know that you’re an older woman.

Especially when, at ten paces viewing distance, those “cool” tattoos you decided to mark yourself all over the yard with..always end up losing their color and turning blue. To look exactly like tumbleweed patches of varicose veins on your skin. Your dry skin. Your flabby skin. Your old skin.

I’m going to do you a favor. Just in case you need a ten-year head start to save up the money. For the laser removal you won’t be able to afford.

(although even Jesus himself would have to whistle in awe, over how you managed to afford to cover your body with the yards of ink that you have;  when you own no car, have no house to call your own and barely have the fridge stocked with more than ding dongs and twelve packs of beer..and fancy fruit waters.)

I’m giving you the gift of potentially  knowing why you “chose” to get those tats.


I would rather tell a truer truth of how you were bamboozled, snookered and manipulated..but I realize my “sisters” are a most proud type these days.

(Even though one can’t find a single female character NOT sporting a tat in any popular movie or show over the course of ten years..in one of the most lamest “secret” brainwashings ever.

Even though it’s clear as daylight that we were conditioned into it..is what I’m saying.)

Women who are SO very proud (of God knows what) that you clean and coldly ignore the fact that our men and boys are being hassled, illegally discriminated against and being publicly dehumanized ..for the sake of your precious delusions.

It’s a “potential” fact and plan which was addressed a very long time ago (before you or I were born) that should help you come to a better-informed decision as to whether you continue covering every square inch with those future varicose vein textures. Or not.

So. Here you go. YOUR Massa’s original plan (highlighted). Which would (or for you, my oh so proud and stubborn “queen”..could) explain why we ended up being conditioned into such a vast amount of humans getting tattoos..when it’s blind man clear that most of us had no business, nor sane reason..at all, to get them in the first place.

You’re welcome.

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