What to Work For?

“What do we end up working for?”

That was a good question. I’m going to try tackling it. First, I’m going to gripe a little.

I recently received the bad news of my rheumatologist being forced out of the pain meds practice.

It’s not only a loss on an obvious level. With him having treated me with the respect and tremendous cheer that he did , he will be missed on a soul deep level.

Having severe osteoarthritis as I do and having been treated as badly by most of the healthcare professionals as I have been, I’m now faced with yet another obstacle because of The Forces That Be. The obstacle of future suffering with my deteriorating knees, hips and feet. Since I will not risk being humiliated by anymore of their doctors and I will not trust any of their substitute chemicals..my elderly years will be a sight to see, that’s for sure. With all of the hobbling, rolling and/or shooting myself in the face that may potentially occur.

I’m used to obstacles, I’m not complaining. I consider myself very fortunate compared to other souls who have suffered many more and more severe abuses.

There’s plenty of piddly obstacles I couldn’t avoid, that Massa provided for me.

I couldn’t help that I was conceived at a “free-love” romping. Which was one of Massa’s projects for the population program. The enthused making of promiscuity as a new social “normal”. That obstacle involves the adventures that can arise when an unwanted creature arrives at a place with nowhere to go.

I couldn’t help being a black and white bi-racial person. Which meant a lifetime’s worth of insults, suspicions, mockery and unasked for criticisms from both sides.

Not much one could do against the obstacles that come with the imagery they kept painting of us via Massa’s command and Media’s loyalty (always referred to as “black”) which kept clamoring on about who we were “supposed to be”: either begging for Ebonics to be recognized as a language, with our hands out demanding that “whitey” give us back something for nothing or how hot to trot we were in the whoopie dept. and other free flowing insults . Let alone the obstacles associated with not having a chance to even address the facts of being half white, as if I insulted each race tremendously if I didn’t proudly declare I was just “Black”. As if all of my ancestors on the White and Native American side don’t exist nor matter.

Rarely having chances to be introduced without looks of shock over my “speaking so well for a Black” if not the verbalized comment itself, from one side. From the other side, being glared at and challenged over some imagined “you think you’re better than everyone else” nonsense.

Being guffawed at (by a doctor actually) when I came in with a book. His chuckle being over the book “looking too complicated” and something he wouldn’t have guessed I would read. An analysis made in the minute it took for him to cross the room, I’m sure.

Being looked at with sarcasm, suspicion or uncertainty by men, in an environment that is thick with male abuses being encouraged openly along with more abusive female aggressions going unchecked.

Being looked at with the same anxieties but with the additional element of it applying strictly to whites, where Massa and Media are acting horrendously out-of-bounds together, pushing the systematic favoritisms and discrimination.

All of these instances are “gifts” provided by Massa and Media.

Being bullied for being ugly, “creepy” or whatever adjectives the children bellowed at me as a child. Media definitely gave them a good training, aimed directly at children like me. I remember. Because it followed me into adulthood. As it did for a lot of us. With that whole “if you’re not a TV character cut-out or pathetic/desperate enough to pretend to be one of them, then you’re nothing” atmosphere.

Assumptions made about me and “mine”..(when I never had a “mine” save for the blessings of giving birth)…and bad actions being taken, resulting from those assumptions. Assumptions saturated into and sprinkled all over the place, so much so, that it’s impossible to miss.

Being sneered at for “being one of those women’s libbers” when my preferences and beliefs where that a woman’s place beside her husband’s side was one of the most prized positions on this planet.

We deserve places on this Earth where we can raise our children and go about our own growth spurts without being forced to be affected and influenced by things we hate and/or know will bring harm.

Things that color your world with you barely getting a stroke in to speak up for or defend yourself. Being forced to be looked at as a hateful and unreasonable person..when another human being (who also hates you) is the one committing the slander and manufacturing the circumstances.

Things that purposefully tear apart intimate bonds by interjecting laws and requirements from strangers and people who hate you. Obviously, those types will do nothing but make sure all that’s around you are misery and false hopes for kicks.

You want to know what to work for? Work for that. Letting the old order wither away and securing mankind’s right as it was meant to be. And learning how to not fear letting go.

After securing an agreed upon definition of what a human being actually is and what basic rights he may have and keep for himself.. and finally, being free to assemble and live in neighborhoods of your choosing, with people you can trust to respect your individual and collective mindsets…work for a place where you can live completely free from and unaffected by the decisions about your body and life …from the thoughts out of another human being’s head. No more being tracked by unseen eyes, ticking down results from games you play that seem “suspiciously” too simple to play or freedom from more unseen eyes zooming in on your home lives, work lives and every inch you walk ways.

That seems to be a solid enough direction to head towards. Sure.

To work on giving birth to something we were told we always had, but never actually did..as one can now clearly see.

Forging an agreed upon and eternally bound contract that declares that no human being has the “divine right” to tell you what to eat, where to live, what to say, who to make love to or whether you’re able to indulge in any matters at all..Period.

Creating opportunities that blossom into countless ‘nation states’, numbering anywhere from two people to twenty million. Be it an all nude community which celebrates “odd” farm festivals or an exclusive paradise get-a-way only meant for Japanese-Swedish mixed breeds who specialize in selling antiques.

With a central core of what’s in place already (for most would choose to stay home with Papa, if only for a little while longer) but with non-majority numbers free to resume or assume the reins of their own bodies and directions…finally able to work and find pleasures, living with those who will best provide for and share in keeping it.

Without another piece of art purposefully tinkered with and without another chemical snuck into your foods. With laws each group will gladly all agree to, with noses firmly kept to “your sides” with absolute freedoms for citizens to “change ships” at any stage they choose.

As Human Beings.. not as members chained to an ongoing Time Traveling American Slave Plantation..where everyone’s insane enough to think they have liberty at all.

Work towards finally being free and finally secure in the blessing of knowing that if a pack of lunatics ever group up again, to trudge through the centuries collecting human beings, tearing human beings apart, fooling them, sickening and tricking them and killing them while forcing them to live with superstitions and threats and not much else.. that you won’t ever again be forced to be swept up in the sort of sicknesses and tight spots which only the most cruel and immature of spirits could force others to endure.

For no good reasons, on top of god awful indefinite stretches of time.

Then you’ll be headed straight towards that Age of Aquarius we’ve all been hearing about..not facing down the double barrels of an alchemical apocalypse, which had already started by the time the 18th century rolled around.

(Well, unless you don’t mind the apocalypse deal..of course. If one wishes to preach “to each their own” then one needs to abide by it, right? Right)

Nite nite.

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