I hate when I am affected by the actions of a group I “belong” to. When I’m treated in disrespectful ways or eyed up suspiciously by a stranger who thinks he knows me because “most of them do.”
I shake my head even more when I realize that we are too pig headed, as groups, to lay our pride aside to address our deficiencies. ESPECIALLY when screaming protests and unlawful legislation could be avoided with simply a self determined “get-off-my-wimpy-ass and fix it” attitude in efforts to eliminate issues.
My thoughts kept returning to my last blog entry. I pondered the timid nature that many females have and their willingness to accept lies and deception in order to not rock boats. To stay comfortable and avoid confrontation.
If you missed reading the entry, it was about women so angry about a man stating what he did not wish to mate with, or waste precious time on, that they got him banned from a dating site (PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA) for life. While a woman is applauded for her frequent proclamations of “knowing her worth” a man was insulted and kicked out for doing the same. It was an ugly example of a horrible double standard.
I imagined a few of these women being face to face with a man who was clearly not comfortable with her. The lack of conversation, the man looking elsewhere because he feels like laughing or simply disgusted about being forced to spend time with what he considers an ugly woman-would those women be cool with that? To know the man only came on the date because he didn’t want to get dogpiled by other people, over refusing to meet her? I thought of the brass ball audacity a woman would need to put herself in that position, insisting on making a point about her “worth”. Never mind the kind of aggressive passivity that has women keeping men hanging on for answers they will never get because Missy finds his looks less than ideal. Or the women who ditch dates without a simple courtesy call because she saw him drive up in a junked up (yet loved) old beater. Never mind those, for the ire will boil a bit hotter with a rant on some sisters and their vile “thee not me” hypocrisy.
I recalled memories of having had lost the attentions of lovers because I had gained weight or the true hot body of their dreams came into the picture. Before eventual break-offs, sometimes, females have a tendency to ignore hints of a lover’s disinterest. Sometimes we hope it goes away. We make excuses for his missing time, the no sex for months or once gentle words turned harsh. From avoiding pain to keeping a roof over the head, the reasons are many-to keep willfully quiet.
It’s a common thing amongst women. It’s in our nature, having evolved protecting offspring and maintaining structure in which to nurture them. It’s not a crime. Thousands of years of evolution have been impressed upon and within us for legitimate reason.
However, it’s not an excuse for us to remain passive and non confrontational in all other matters.
There’s an example at the core of the debate over Equal Pay for Women . Sadly, young sisters are still being brainwashed into thinking there is some collective agenda amongst 21 century male adults to keep them in a kitchen. No one is discussing the FEMALE generated problem at play-our reluctance to open our mouths for what we need.
In a time of blatant bulldozing of our will, more interference from mandatory legislation to “straighten things out” is nothing but a shame, when we are capable of doing it ourselves.
Being too shy to ask for a raise in ten years=not as much money as Joe got after only three months. So simple, it’s stupid.