Little white lies.
They don’t do as much harm as the “really big” lies. That’s what we say.
That belief in itself is a lie most of us subscribe to.
They can be worse than bigger lies because they are spread in greater quantity and told with more frequency. Little lies can make a person’s view of you even more negative than your original fear. The original fear being what motivates telling of the lie in the first place.
A popular example=A person (man or woman) posts a twenty year old photo of him or her self on a dating site.
Bla bla bla..the relationship starts online and let’s say the truth comes out. We won’t weave a story of particular reactions. We will express how much worse one ends up looking courtesy of the “harmless, little white lie”.
The original fear is that a potential partner would dismiss him or her after seeing a true photo.
The reason being because the look of fat and old human beings are not highly attractive to even other fat and old human beings. Cest la vie.
The liar usually fools herself by thinking that after someone gets to “know her personality” then “all will be okay”. This pep talk into a lie is usually punctuated by the indignant declaration of the guy being too shallow anyway if he does end up vanishing.
Well, shallow as some folks may be, that’s not most of us. There are other things higher on our checklists that determine our choices.
Let’s consider the following things someone may be forced to think after discovering the truth of our falsifying photo presenter.
They may end up thinking-
That one isn’t mentally healthy. One may think the lie is a result of a learning disability that has rendered the person’s brain unable to discern passages of time, even their own age. Or a mental illness which includes hallucinations where the person may actually believe he is the age of the photo. Either way, both are indicators of potential future difficulties most would rather avoid than invite into their already complicated lives.
That one lied because he/she is one of those online dating swindlers for cheap sex and/or money. Thanks to a media that never tires of reminding us how much danger we’re all in, folks are aware of the general checklist of those types. Those types are known to lie about every and any thing. Even if one only told one lousy little lie, unfortunately because of the damage those criminals do, he or she risks being branded as someone to steer far clear of.
That one’s confidence is so low he can’t bring himself to lay down the truth. We all know by now what low self esteem has to say about soul sucking attention seekers and train wrecks of sex lives. Not an appealing prospect to most folk. At all.
That one had no intention of meeting in real life or forging a relationship at all. Why bother with an accurate photo for one when there are dozens waiting to be charmed down the road?
Which brings me to a final possibility.
When there is a meeting arranged and the truth of the photo has still remained a secret.
My goodness. What an ugly mess this has turned out to be for some people over the years, hm?
There are dreams dashed-especially if one turned out to be way under par of what was considered remotely good looking.
Then there’s anger-over time wasted or worse, if the person had developed genuine feelings that included the joy of physical attraction.
(Yes, folks we are human adult beings entitled to our own tastes in who we wish to love. We’re not slaves expected to breed like livestock with no choices. Not yet anyway. Or again).
Let’s not forget the anger of those deeply insulted by another human being thinking them so blind or stupid to what’s going on that they might as well have glass eyes.
What negative opinions are not going to be thought of someone who tells a “white lie” such as that when it covers so much more ground than simply being seen as “ugly”?
Let’s see.. we could simply have the worst scenario rejection of
being too unattractive.
We could have the potentials of being thought of as
a sex fiend or pervert
or an insulting narcissist chock full of vitamin Stupid.
Personally, I’d rather deal with what Nature felt she had to do to me out of boredom, rather than ruin my own reputation to the point of being seen as a different creature altogether than what I am.
We need to start putting ourselves into serious check over these slick “little” lies we tell.
ESPECIALLY in an atmosphere where everyone is leaving feedback for others to read and “know” about each other.
photo By pathdoc