When I Fantasize about being a Human Being

Tonight (after another explosion ripped through the air on my street tonight) I indulged in a rather recently formed fantasy.


One where I imagine (or reimagine what it was like to believe so) that I’m a human being.


You know, the lucky sort of organism that had a choice as to whether she was sterilized or exposed to radiation. The sort that has the right to call for help and expect it. The sort that isn’t told, like a brainless child, what words she can or can not say…without facing punishment or harassment from other lay “thing” citizens.

Like the word “mulatto”. It was a simple term that I was perfectly happy to use , for lack of shorter description, during my life.

Now, as an entire generation has been washed into high anxiety over things which are only “hot button issues” when the UN-Papal-Media machine starts pushing buttons and screaming at all groups to “think correctly.”..I’m bullied into not using it by indignant non-minority “do-gooders” for fear of resuscitating the image of “slavery”.

Despite it meaning exactly what I am-a mixture of black and white. And despite the fact that I’m a grown adult who doesn’t suffer from such foolish insecurities.

If I was a human being, I would have been allowed that small dignity of naming myself without fear or harassments.


I and many more like me are lectured by the most openly racist acting and hatefully disrespectful “experts” with their insistence on labeling all dark skinned individuals as “black”..no matter what our diverse backgrounds may include.

That outdated system of still labeling human beings reminds one of the plantation days, where they turned slavery into the worst race based institution in slavery’s global history.

(For all we know, this old system of labeling property could be a nostalgic twinge of an engrained slavemaster mentality. Since a master sleeping with a daughter, which he himself sired, wasn’t considered a reprehensible crime as long as she remained listed as “property”.

Who even knows what sort of generational mental defects made their ways into their current mindset.)

It certainly LOOKS like a modern plantation with majority dark skinned highlighted in media, being mocked with “new rights and respect” but my god, with not a single constitutional right left between us.

Where there is open verbal abuse aimed at our white siblings, our males and our most vulnerable and least educated are encouraged by instigations and horrid games.


Yes, indeed, I imagine that I’m not a thing anymore, just so I can imagine telling them off.


Having been born from a white woman and having birthed two white children..in the midst of this “BLM” nightmare..I fantasize that I’d have a voice that could be heard over the infuriating noises that they’re dishing out and the insulting fires they keep setting.

Telling me “who I am” and “what I’m supposed to be.”

When they should by all natural rights keep that big and foul intrusive yaw closed. When by all legal and natural rights they should have been expelled.


But..as mentioned, I’m only a thing.



I was also recently reminded of the massive amount of hypocrisy stuffed into the majority of their media.

I had to read this full screen text that spent several sentences apologizing and warning about the “blackface” that would be seen in a show I was trying to enjoy.

That stirred my daydreaming about being a human as well. Bitterly.


Because I’m being told how “bad” we are and how “bad” my forebears were….from an insipid industry that makes money from teaching my children to call themselves “nigger” to jumping beats.


From an industry that raises their daughters to shine and delight the masses by imitating flowers, swans and other things in nature as they dance …but have the audacity to train my young ladies that their “proud and shining” moments, in their dance, are in the mimicking of being humped as breed sows-also, to the pocketing of great profit.


An industry that’s got a tight grip around the throat of a nation of disabled citizens and is proud to dedicate an entire network to poking fun of them on TLC…again raking in big fortunes on it.

How I wish I could say something on how they dare have anything to say to me and mine re: what’s appropriate. For if I was a human being, I’d at least get a shot at finding authorities to get these torturers to stop their double dipping and damaging games. If I was an important human being, maybe others could have even held them responsible for the last 80 years of the sort of same (worse and farther reaching) insulting provocations and “damage” which they crow about “stopping” these days.


From the countless films where they added constant anti-male scripts

….to the slow drip poisons of turning men’s hearts against us…

to continually dogging on and painting “pictures” of the type of male who is now sentenced to a human rights nightmare.

There is barely ANY corner of media where the constant scripting for our failures and unbroken negative feedback of men, families and children…or the continual washing in of “woman hating”..was not and is not present.

Yes…I do sincerely wish I was considered a human being enough to voice my outrage and insult …
Instead of being forced here, to live the rest of my life with no rights, companions, security…except for the “rights” Massa declares are suitable for me and billions of others.

Forced to watch my men “vanish” in front of my eyes and my grown children unable to fend for themselves, with no future..


With these hypocritical and heinous animals at the helm…free to do as they please, after they affected the ever living daylights out of our society with every underhanded and “subliminal” trick in the book.

Especially when the evidence is plentiful and unarguably plain.

When the proper studies are done of 80 years of the same exact messages being conditioned to five generations of youth..leaving us with the perverted and downhearted lifestyle attitudes we carry with us lifelong.

If I was a human being, then someone may have given a damn about how these threats, from fifty years ago and the horrific socio-bio-political fallout..disqualifies those who have usurped our country and the human beings within it, from staying in power. Or from having ANY say.

After ruining all of our lives and infecting us, FAR beyond the so-called “damage” accusations and illegal legislations set into place on the grounds of faux “PC” bullying.

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