We NEED to Pull Ourselves Together

I’m sure there are many people who took the tear gassing of children at the border this week pretty hard.

I am NOT saying this in such a way because I’ve half a heart of stone and it doesn’t bother me. The whole situation bothers me on some level.
I happen to believe there are much more pressing issues that aren’t being brought to our attentions. And I believe we are marching ourselves into a world of irreversible hurt if we continue not bothering to study them for ourselves.


Back to the tear gas.


I heard a grown adult politician, on one of the carnival news outlets, exclaim how the tear gassing was a “new low.” I was a little shocked. He was old enough to have been in this country on the date of April 19, 1993. For if he’d thought about it for a skinny minute, he would have remembered a far more dire “new low” involving tear gas and children which happened on that very day with our own citizen children in a place called Waco, Texas.

Where not only 24 children were being gassed by our government and military, but also burned to their deaths.


I place this reminder for two reasons.
1- There are things that our government has done through the decades and will do for times to come.

There is nothing we can say or do that will change that.

If you felt torn and depressed, even outraged, over the children fainting from tear gas this week…you can imagine how the world felt watching the inferno roaring with the knowledge of two dozen young children burning alive..after being tear gassed.
2- We are in an emotional and social epidemic as a people. It involves depression and lots of anxiety.
The news stories we’re getting worked up over can NOT be doing us any good in that arena.
As a layman, I will assume our bouts of anxiety and depression are directly related to the chaotic news and information being pumped into our psyches.


We fight with one another. Many of us weep and feel ill for days on end. The fall out reactions and actions we suffer, much of it is very well within our powers to do something about.
We have to.


We have to because countless numbers of us are getting put on lists and securing tags labeling us as “mentally ill”. Disabled.


I will finish this by including two links which will give some of you a hint as to what is coming our way..if we fail to pull ourselves together enough to function through our day to day lives without interference from “State authorities”-like UN “authorities” unelected and not even known to most of us  as affecting the laws of “our” land.
If you are content with being taken care of and soothed by other people monitoring your life and offering “help” to “cope with life”..then I respect that wholeheartedly.
I , as a high functioning ‘disabled adult’,  do not wish to be swept up in an overwhelming herding of folks who have been deemed as “disabled” enough for “action to be taken”. As was done in 2006 with this Owner’s Manual to the Disabled Person “our” UN laid out as law to follow.
http://www.un.org/disabilities/documents/convention/convention_accessible_pdf.pdf
Especially when there’s been a progressive and elevated interest (now including the “hunt” for signs of disabilities in our schools and other public places) in a growing list of “bad things” associated with our “moods and conditions”. The “bad things” that other human beings have taken upon themselves to “set right” for us..as if we’re destined to be a majority society of “disabled” people. Or children. Or slaves.
https://www.cdc.gov/workplacehealthpromotion/health-strategies/depression/index.html


This border situation is so complicated that it begs the blessings of greater minds than what’s available to figure it out.
Thank heaven no one, child nor adult, was seriously injured or died this week.
We need to be grateful for that.
More bluntly, we need to pull ourselves together regarding things that have been and will be out of our hands, period.


The things we can control…the arguments, the sleepless nights, the hours of yelling or fretting ourselves sick….hiking up our blood pressures, delving deeper into helplessness so much that we seek out the “help” of other human beings no more “expert” on getting you “better” than you and your own network of friends and family are….we can do something about that.


Maybe not all of us, but enough of us can decide to redirect our focuses, I’m sure of it. It is possible.
Many of us have long histories of tortured generations of ancestors who were assaulted, murdered and imprisoned. We need to learn from them.
How they held themselves and their children together with determinations of strength that many of us could do with at this time; while we face nowhere near the hell that they did to survive and then thrive upon afterwards.
Those of us of Native American heritage, Jewish, Irish, Polish..so forth and so on..enough of us KNOW how strong they forced themselves to be for us.
It’s the least we can do, if it can be helped at all, for our children. We HAVE to.
To enough of a degree as to not end up shackled to mandates and overreaches of authority that are starting out as voluntary surrenders of personal responsibility for our states of mind.

Don’t Worry, Bleeding Heart..

Don’t worry your tender little head, my “dear” Bleeding Heart..


If things go as things have gone in this country, nothing’s going to thwart the health and happiness of your precious assylum seekers in those caravans that  your arms are thrown wide open for.. while you harass the rest of us by calling us unforgiveable names.


To put your mind at ease I’ll remind you of a few things in play that guarantee a more comfortable stay for those with no intention of assimilating into our culture. .
“Little” things like your cable menu stacked up real nice with a lot of Spanish speaking channels. “Our” South American caravan cousins will have plenty of familiar entertainment while they look for jobs and wait for benefits to start.
“Little” things like instructions and descriptions on the products they will buy being already written in their language. Luckier still for them, although our own children fail in basic English , Spanish has been a mandatory course for a long time in our schools-for it would never do to cause them unnecessary stress of learning our language would it?
“Little” things like the very face of the “typical” American woman increasingly being depicted in ads and film as the dark haired, often Latina, type-even to a fine and shameful point of excluding the fair haired white woman/family.

These little signs and clues that guarantee that our new neighbors will feel more at “home” than any of us could ever feel after forcing our stubborn American hides into other countries. If we were even allowed to do so. Which we are not.
“Little” things like the push for and securing of voting rights. Although many don’t speak the language of our laws-never mind understand the political gibberish.
“Little” things like the push for and securing of drivers licenses.
Your caravans will be just fine with these and more “little” signs of prepared welcome. Surely, you can see them well enough to ease up on your angry protests and your passionate  global humanitarian chest thumping.


I know we’ve got billboards “instructing” us to cook at the temperature we’ve been cooking our food at for decades or on how not to abandon our children in our cars like a society of hopeless airheads …but we can’t be THAT naïve about this slow cooking invasion ending in anything other than the” same ole same ole”.
No matter who’s putting on a show and talking tough script lines to soothe our frazzled and confused nerves.
My opinion is that it will end up being another show like that “Occupy Wall Street” and “Arab Spring” chaos we were subjected to ten years ago; a whole bunch of hoo haw and shouting from our side over “people being done wrong”, a series of soft shoe numbers done on both sides of the broadcasting media ….& voila! Nothing done.
Well, millions of us got our hineys handed to us re: lost homes and income in that time period. That happened. That’s for sure.
But nothing upsetting happening to the “Bad Bogey Man” Banks and “Bad Bogey Man” governments after all.


If it helps settle your mind, the same social justice “do-gooding” virus

Here
alleged to have kick started this multiple wave invasion, is from the same “social justice” petri dish that infested us at that time period
There


See? Although we’re on constant high alert for disruptive domestic terrorists amongst us, one can rest assured that the disruption of our societies will still (and always) be a privilege for untouchable others.


So, if history is to be sifted for clues, this country will more than likely simply continue to usher in yet another new batch of Citizen seat fillers.
A batch of Citizens from places so troubled that their “gratitude” will override any American’s dissatisfaction over the spoiling of any ” Rights” that we are under the assumption still exist. As we get our heads patted and Mommy shushes us up, gently reminding us how mentally ill, anxious and bigoted we are.


Besides, when was the last time we truly had a say in anything?
We’ve had our healthcare choices ripped out of our hands along with banking choices, medication choices, intimate sexual choices, right up to the very words coming out of our faces. Heck, we’ve even had our bodies handled in public by often rude TSA strangers despite our horror and discomfort.
By the time a human being is being physically touched, against his or her will, under the threat of authoritarian punishment and/or assault…it’s time to surrender the notion that whatever we protest or demand is worth anything except a big and a fat ZERO.


No one is listening to us, Bleeding Heart.
I know the loud bravado ruffles your feathers and threatens to snap your heartstrings.
Really good performances tend to do such things.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/the_americas/despite-trump-threats-us-officials-allow-caravan-members-to-seek-asylum/2018/05/01/5b173e6e-4cc8-11e8-85c1-9326c4511033_story.html?utm_term=.ef1d0a88d822
Your ‘poor and wretched’ souls will probably be taken care of, even though your own neighbors are struggling.

Where each citizen is “responsible” for $154,161 and our poor are bursting through the seams of a country you obviously don’t understand (or care)is in debt to the tune of at least 18 Trillion dollars as of 2015.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikepatton/2015/04/24/national-debt-tops-18-trillion-guess-how-much-you-owe/#14e0f9679203


You’re a slave just as much as the rest of us but if you get your way, you’ll be on the happy side of the plantation.. for now.
Until your jaw drops open over whatever nightmare you’ll be horrified in watching come your way one day soon. Or until you grow up and realize that you can’t do a damned thing but hang your head and pray  for help that will never come.
It will more than likely happen with another wide eyed crew of Citizens shouting you down and accusing you of being everything that you’re not..simply because you thought you had a “right” to protect yourself or live your life according to documents you were trained into believing meant something.


What was believed to be Article 4 Section 4 of The U.S. Constitution
The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.
https://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2018/11/19/mexican-citizens-this-caravan-is-absolutely-an-invasion-n2536171

No More Apologies to Make. Lying Fat Chicks Included.

Beware of the woman who plans to meet you IRL ( in real life) and you find out that she lied about her weight throughout the entire course of your online relationship. Enough of an amount that it would shock the ‘average’ person into wondering how she could have had the nerve to believe “it wouldn’t matter” . Or simply, enough to dishearten and disappoint you..after months or years invested.


It would be inappropriate for me to give unsolicited advice regarding this wretched liar’s fate.

But I would have to insist on one thing if you made the decision to  turn and walk away..
Don’t you dare let anyone try to shame you into staying or rant at you for some imagined “fat discrimination.”


First of all, you deserve better than to risk inviting disaster into your life by accommodating a person that morally bankrupt or unstable.
Most importantly, it is none of anyone’s business as to what you like, let alone possess nerve to comment on it.


There are plenty of reasons why overweight women don’t appeal to men-as there are plenty of reasons underweight women don’t appeal to other men as well. This is how things work in a world occupied by humans and occasional patches of common sense.
A person who lies about how she looks, what she is- a physical state that merely requires the power of sight-while fully intending to remain quiet up to and on the day of meeting face to face…  isn’t exactly what I call friendly with the notion of common sense.
Neither is she pals with the notion of respect..

..Respect for the importance of basic honesty.
..Respect for the trust you placed in her to help you paint a truthful mental picture within the impossibly limited spaces of keyboard and screen.

..Respect for your rights as a human being to be able to say “no” to whatever you do not wish to choose for your life. In the same atmosphere where we’re constantly reminded of a woman’s right to say “no” to what is unacceptable to her.

..Or respect for the need for people  to know what they’re dealing with from the start. So that no one gets hurt down the road by eventual rejection. Specifically, the liar -who obviously missed  memos about  the existence of other people living on this planet, other than herself.


This sort of deception  has a frightening amount to say about her lack of concern for the value of your time. It also holds an alarming clue to the depth of her selfishness.

A person’s weight can cover  more important concerns other than looks alone. From matters of health and  lifestyle to sexual reproduction and difficulties in fertility, the reasons an individual may have to dislike or prefer something are as varied and deep as the individual himself.
That doesn’t matter.

It’s still no one’s right to make decisions on what you accept in your life, except for You..

You should not be obliged to explain anything to anybody. No human being , without being enslaved, should be expected to answer for or to another human being concerning what he or she rejects or holds dear.


There are no written laws, yet, that forbid a man from having his own tastes and enjoying his personal desires. But the way we’ve been behaving lately, more of us are acting as if we “own” one another. As if it’s our duty to inject ourselves straight into the lives of one another to force each other to “behave.”
No one owns you.
And you’re most certainly not looking for another mother to finish “raising” you; aside from the one who already raised you. The one woman who had enough respect to let you grow up and go on to live YOUR life on YOUR own terms. As a Grown Man.


ANY gender should be subject to “behaving”. And BOTH genders deserve to be given enough truth in order to best plan for what they want in this life.

However, there is a serious deficit of attention paid to , and open  encouragement of,  a very  mean spirited ‘bullying’ of the modern male.

It’s the type of thing that we’d be up in arms over , if it was openly directed (redirected) towards women or any other socio-politically coddled group.
There is nothing said concerning a male’s well being or emotional “safety” in online dating. Unlike his sister, the adult male hears no public outcries nor sympathies expressed for the  devastations he is also vulnerable to. In a time where he’s not only forced to accept slanderous  assumptions of his  “rapist” intentions but where his reputation and livelihood seem to be progressively dependent on the male being bullied silent or spiritually neutered.


It’s about time we started to stand up for ourselves and each other, in these twisted little  “holier than thee and me” confrontations -online and off.

It’s about time we ceased stammering apologies like guilty  children..to sniveling brats  rudely forcing themselves deeper into our personal lives, without bothering to make any apologies. 
This issue, defending oneself against being harassed or guilt tripped due to one’s own desires or wants…. is just one of a few places we need to start.
At the very least, we can start learning how to tell people to mind their own business.
We may even find a bonus opportunity along the way to restructuring ourselves.
Maybe we’ll get in so much practice , telling people to shut their traps, that they finally understand that their opinions mean nothing in a quicker and less painful fashion.
Far less painful than the public sniping that is unleashed when men dare commit the” crimes” of expressing their truths..

(where some men are publicly dragged to one social media whipping post or another, and  other men are fired from the only jobs they had to feed their families with)

…. that’s for sure.


It’s time to be as strong as we know we need to be,

Your loving and fat Sister, Ramsy


feature photo By Kletr

On “Krisha”

What a good movie this is.

Krisha

 

I’m a person who’s been on both sides of this fence.

Each side as equally soaked as the other-by  tears from years of being the offended and then from  years of also becoming the shameful offender.
One day we wake up and realize all that we boasted to be

was as wet as the drink in our hands. Or the tears we caused on a loved one’s face.

For many of our sakes, may that day not be this upcoming Thanksgiving or any other day soon..if it can be helped.

Tonight’s Treasure

It’s been decades since I’ve had the privelege of spending the night with a man such as this.
He’s a normal enough fellow;  it’s the taste of the story he’s serving and the structure it’s formed within that silently excites me.


While being reminded of a regrettable loneliness that feels like it burrows  deeper into even the bones of my soul, the older I get…I found him. Online.


It’s been a long time since I’ve heard something as delightfully gruesome as the finding of false teeth in one’s morning breakfast stew.
And it’s been a long time since I’ve heard any one individual  share so much from within such limited spans of time and often difficult spaces.


How lucky I was to find him tonight..with his gift of  chasing away another friendless night. And reminding me of all the precious “little” joys that make me a lucky woman after all.


A soldier from The Australian Imperial Forces and the words from his diary-kept between 1914-1917 …a little over a hundred years ago.
Here’s the link I wandered into..
…just in case you could use some intriguing company as well.
..just in case you wish to be comforted by a reminder that we’re never, truly, as alone as “that”.

http://acms.sl.nsw.gov.au/_transcript/2014/D17197/a5737.html
original photo By danieldep

“Merci”.. Kind Sister

20150618_wp_meuseargonne_ABMC_0146
THIS is what it means “to remember”; this beautifully tended Meuse-Argonne Cemetery ..in another country, France.

It’s where over 14,000 of our American WW1 soldiers rest after losing their lives in one of the most horrifying ends a human being can meet.
The fact that we, as the American descendants, do not visit as we should, should shame us terribly.
Especially when we parrot unkind opinions of the French to one another (impressing no one) in water cooler “discussions”. When we find ourselves engaged in childish boasting, inflating our chests and heads over “who did what for whom” in a war that most of us know nothing about and should keep our ignorant opinions to ourselves over.


Despite this reminder of what hypocrites too many of us truly are, I am touched to share this enduring example of The Human Intention in one of its better lights.
I’m proud to see that The Human Potential  is honored so beautifully by our Brothers and Sisters so far away-as they continue caring for our sons and fathers as if they were their very own.

Merci, kind Sister..my gratefulness remains eternal.

 

Romagne 1914-1918 Museum video


cemetery photo  from

https://www.abmc.gov/cemeteries-memorials/europe/meuse-argonne-american-cemetery#.W-vtEvZFxhE

feature photo By mbruxelle

Damn Your Village. This is OUR Hole

It’s like we’re standing around pointing at, staring at and arguing about what made the huge hole in the roof of the house that we live in.
Some of us are jumping hot, convinced that our neighbor planned it . We come up with the idea that he could have only done it by dropping a boulder of unimagineable size with the assistance of a crane. To the ones who scoff at that, we have an “under cover of night” theory. Where the “villian” is renting equipment, setting things up and even (according to an adament few) using some sort of specially formulated oil to muffle the squeaks and clangs of late night bangery.
Others are choosing to believe the roof had some sort of manufacturing flaw. A flaw that didn’t rear it’s ugly head until it was too late.
Then there is a high strung minority that insists that we’re being punished from some sort of jealous entity in the sky…for daring to use the wrong material in the first place.
When it doesn’t even matter anymore..we stand around and scream and argue on how this hole appeared.


As if our furniture isn’t getting soaked by each rainfall that passes.
As if the rest of the exposed structure isn’t getting weathered and threatening to crash inwards if we don’t do something more productive then snap our yaws and fight one another. .
Like a bunch of foolish children, unaccustomed to or familiar with the notion of moving on and fixing things.
The damage is done.


We’ve watched the light vanish out of our children’s’ eyes. And we have watched nearly everything our ancestors held sacred in the matters of privacy, intimacy and dignity undergo a bizarre and sickening death.
We are living with our heads in virtual clouds enjoying the best that imagination can offer while refusing to notice that very real shackles have been slipped onto our hands and ankles.
From not being allowed to spend one’s own money where and how we want, to what we’re allowed to look at while engaged in matters that should never…ever…have been legislated over by a force of other mere mortal humans.
We are now in that stage of Slavery the wise have always known as the final stage of any organized civilization’s lifespan.
To continue bickering over how the destruction was brought about, purposefully allowed or naturally evolved, means that much is being ignored.
Things that others are making sure they do “for” us. And it’s not being done with our happiness in mind, but rather for the sake of maintaining more efficient Producers and Consumers.


It would be nice, and arguably necessary, to discuss matters of things gone sideways for the sake of prevention in the future. After all, we are  fond of somberly exclaiming that we need to “always remember” in order to not “repeat our past mistakes”.

But, we’re no more capable nor willing to accomplish this, if we’ve ever accomplished it at all.
Even with something as simple to remember  the dangers of strangers reporting on you, or you reporting on them.

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/hcp-screening.html
All it takes for most of us is a “nice” face with a big smile speaking the words “I promise” and ” to keep you safe”.. for us to guiltlessly excuse ourselves from the table to go running back to our rooms to play with whatever oddball nonsense grown adults have no business playing at in the first place; as if we were still children convinced there are other “real” adults to keep the world running.


Back to that hole in our roof. We need to fix it and make living conditions underneath it better. Damned be arguing the cause of it. Especially if “The Cause” is and has been carelessly immune to  the dismayed outcries from the likes of Us for the longest time.


There is zero value in exhausting each other with constant abuses. This finger pointing and name calling until we’re so steeped in self pity and depression that the precious few priveleges we’re allowed to keep fail to provide any comfort at all-aside from where the “hole makers” end up warehousing us or what they’ll be medicating us with.


Yes, the damage is done.
There’s also no better opportunity
… to repair our wounds, for ourselves, before the mandatory intrusions into our lives are set in stone.
..to better reinforce our structure; as this “hole” is promising to collapse the entire roof of our house.


The following links are some of the reasons we need to do our best to deal with the devastations we’ve been left with. And we must try our best to do it without being treated as if we were livestock, without a say nor choices.
One doesn’t need to investigate too far or long to know how the “kind hand offering assistance” usually turns into a strong arming “you will..or else.”


The only plans of actions coming our way are state sponsored/mandated power plays for our home lives and our children..without our permission.

Being monitored and surveilled, like things to be studied, without our permission.

With  zero explanation of “where IT came from” and most certainly no apologies forthcoming.

https://chrissmith.house.gov/uploadedfiles/assure_act.pdf


Current reassurance that Thimerasol (ethylmercury)is NOT dangerous by the CDC
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccinesafety/concerns/thimerosal/index.html


Yet….
This section (also current)  hints at certain “uncertainty” by the CDC and their “being concerned enough” to ‘stop’ it. There’s even a little side note of how difficult it is in a world with other sources of mercury. How oh so very thoughtful of them.

takinbk
(photo taken from FDA website https://www.fda.gov/BiologicsBloodVaccines/SafetyAvailability/VaccineSafety/UCM096228#nolink)

In my layman opinion, it’s a sober and grey illustration of that old saying about the “horse having bolted after the gate was left open” .


And then  finally..

from a 2017 report (new and current), evidence stating that it IS dangerous after all.
“Alkyl Mercury-Induced Toxicity: Multiple Mechanisms of Action”
(note green highlighted section)

finlfind


If doubt or shock prevents one from understanding what this might say about, not only the last twenty years, but possibly decades of possible mercurial poisoning, here is an excerpt.

nghmr
Note the red will sound familiar to countless parents who endured the nightmares of watching their infants pass into an ongoing and devastating change, away from the lives intended for them, after vaccinations.
Note the green is an all too familiar and growing epidemic of brain injury traits that millions of us across this world are watching our loved ones suffer from-if we aren’t, ourselves, part of the older and comparatively luckier cases from when ASDs were taken for granted as rare events.
Traits and injuries that are and will affect the very fabric of what we once understood to be a functioning society of human beings.

(photo from link https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/pharmacology-toxicology-and-pharmaceutical-science/mercury-poisoning)
With somber realization, one would have to take a very long stretch to NOT see the connection-not the other way around.
We need to save our house. Keep an eye on what is being planned for our house. For us and the children we wish to hold onto and raise as our own-not as slaves to be done with as other humans feel the need to do with them.


In a world where all media channels churn out “news” for our rabid consumption, we need to pay attention to the events our “dear media” is strangely silent about. Such as the findings referenced above and international collaborative events such as this one taking place in less than a few months.
https://www.ittakesavillage2019.com/


photo By ekim

The Sin of Being Born Crazy

子どもを叱る

The Sin of Being Born Crazy

It would be a little bit funny if it weren’t so damned sad-
Us becoming reacquainted with the notions of Laziness and Stupidity.
After the words had been whitewashed so very clean
that they barely left a stain on the countertop.
Evil words, they told us. Hurtful words, they insisted.
With their solemn nods and folded hands over their fat bellies.
“You gotta listen to your Daddy,
you gotta mind the words from Mother,
Because good boys and girls don’t say
those things to one another.”
And then when it all seemed so bright and polite for the future..
BAM! We wake up. On the floor. Bruised and confused.
Mother’s foot on our neck and sounds of Daddy sawing the boards to go up
on the windows. Being told we’re bad because of the dirt we left behind.
Being told to shut up and hold our tongue when we try to protest that we would have if we could have and that we’d do it right now if they would give us a chance.
Being shoved into our corners. Kicking and screaming
over the insanity of being expected to clean up what we were told
didn’t exist. Never existed. But exists all the same. After all.
It would be a little bit funny if it weren’t so damned sad-
Us becoming acquainted with the sins of being born Crazy and Hopeless.

by Ramsy

photo by takasu

 

The Vanishing Bedside Manner

“Stop wriggling”
“You either stop moving or you won’t get your pain meds, you don’t want that do you?”
“Stop moving, stop screaming…be quiet ………you’re not listening!….LISTEN…”
Each and every single statement was told to me in either an angry way, like a parent yelling at a child, or with an obvious air of annoyance.
While I was wide eyed, bellowing, screaming and panting to catch my breath .From my home, to inside the ambulance I was being transported in, through the hallways of the nearest hospital available and all the way until I was situated into a final room. Very early this morning.
I was screaming and begging for help. It felt as if my entire abdominal area was being ripped and sliced apart mercilessly. For hours, the contractions crashed in waves. The pain, at one time, making me gasp out loud because I was sure I was passing out from it.
This isn’t the first time I’ve dealt with umbilical troubles. It’s been a lifelong thing; my third hernia patch being applied over ten years ago. I have great fear of these episodes of pain because, in order to keep sane and “chase” the all consuming pain away, I lose control over what my body does. That includes a thrashing of all of my limbs and trying (in vain) to control my screaming from the sheer agony.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to experience pure callousness and rudeness from various “care”givers.


I understand most people and how most people panic in emergency moments.
My husband has spent three decades dealing with hysterical patients. I spent a good amount of time as an aide for developmentally disabled clients. We spent many in-service hours learning to deal with violent scenes, from epileptic attacks to physical attacks on other residents and staff.
I understand how a firm voice and non coddling is necessary to get through to some people.
But that’s the thing..we’re still People.


While I can take a firm voice, it’s an insult to hear the “threats” of not giving pain relief if I “don’t settle” down. As if the humiliating thrashing of my  big and naked body, legs and arms flying to “get away” from the searing pain, can be considered ANYTHING near being  a “choice.”
I don’t know if anyone heard the pathetic and repeated squeaks of “I’m sorry” (between the gasps of pain) that I uttered in my nightmarish screaming-I was that aware and that embarrassed.
The following links regarding the trends in” bedside manner” and the poisoned atmospheres that are affecting us as patients.


It’s Not You, Doctors Are Just Rude



https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/02/11/when-the-nurse-is-a-bully/


From the young paramedics to the young  doctors. It seems that the young have maintained  an average level of apathy throughout all that they do-from interpersonal relationships to within the intimate professional spaces of where we are most vulnerable.
They’ve been trained to be all about the processing and moving along..and none of the remembering how someone suffering becomes even more frightened when “lectured” and snapped at in the midst of the worst and all consuming pain of their life.
They’ve been treated and trained like a heartless workforce to produce and maintain, therefore they treat us like debris gumming up the “machinery” if we do not sit still, smile our gratefulness and behave “just so”.


I appreciated the aides who brought me warm blankets during my hours. Without my asking, initially. I appreciate the soft spoken or cheery joking intermissions from those who took the time to see that I was a flesh and bone mother in the worst possible shape I could be. My eyes filled with tears at one point because I had given up hope that relief would be coming; to run into these few folks was nothing short of a gift. What a tender shame that this is now something of an exception rather than a once upon a time rule.


We, as patients, need to be aware of this growing apathy, looming over a healthcare system we have very little choice in anymore.
As for the young doctors…I can only speak as one soul. I will assume I speak for more.
Aside from undergoing incredible bouts of inescapable pain yourself, I realize there’s only so far your imagination can take you as far as imagining another’s plight. But even you have to admit that if you saw similar miscarriages of manner in a daycare center or a retirement home, many of you would be repulsed and moved in various ways. Especially if it was your child and your grandparent being treated no better than a dog to snap at for the sake of efficiency.
There are a very vital and simple things you must care to learn about. Preferably, before retirement days find you at the mercy of an even colder generation, when you are vulnerable and facing being told to “shut up” or “stop your foolishness.” Things like addressing the rudeness from your colleagues, within your workplace. The interactions that can snowball straight into your dealings with your patients.


Many of us are older and we’ve learned that life doesn’t tick “just so” and human beings are not textbook “things” to “deal with. We have much more understanding of what you’re trying to deal with, trust me on that. Your inexperience prevents you from knowing these things and that is not meant as a slight. It is a pleading for the human beings you will expect to come to you in earlier stages of distress before you’re left with bigger problems that could have been taken care of.
People are not coming to you as much as we should, as early as we should, because we are scared and not eager to be treated so shabbily. It’s not paranoid anticipation at work, it is the bitter taste of how we’re being treated.


The money that we work very hard for, we do not wish to invest it into vague non answers in treatment and cold and demeaning airs.
You wouldn’t, if given a choice, as a human being.
And you know this.


photo By Catalin Pop

Check and Mate

Although it weighs heavy on my heart to say it,  the articles I placed down as links ,

depending on how (or if) one measures (or identifies) the story told between the two,

look about as much of a “Check” and “Mate” as any I’ve ever seen.
Conditioning

End Result

business is chess

 

In a game that was much too important to have been taken for granted.

 

And So On


feature photo By Jorge

photo within body By streetphotoru

%d bloggers like this: